10/19/2017

MoneyMatters101.com Home
Recommended Books

Nolo's Guide to SSI Disability
On America's Roads
On My Own
Our Baby Boomer Years
Outliers
Outsmart!
Pinpoint
Points Of Power
Pre-Foreclosure Handbook
Producer
Project Management
Pulling Weeds
Put Your Money
Quick And Nimble
Read Health Books
Rescuing America
Retire Inspired
Retire Richer And Faster
Rich Brother, Rich Sister
Rich Dad, Poor Dad
Rich Like Them
Right On The Money
Rules Of Engagement
Rush
Sales 2.0
Saving Your Financial Soul
See Jane Lead
Self Made
Selling In Tough Times
Sell Your Home
Six Pixels Of Separation
Small Business Survival Guide
Social Security: Inside Story
Social Security Strategies
Spank The Bank
Spent: Shopping Addict
Starting Over
Stop Sabotaging Your Career
Strategic Alignment
Stronger
Surviving ObamaCare
Taking Down The Lion
Talking Money
Test-Drive Your Dream Job
The 11 Laws Of Likability
The Age Of Speed
The American Journey of Barack Obama
The Art And Science Of Technical Analysis
The Audacity Of Help
The Best Comes Last
The Business Of Family
The Board Game
The Confidence Code
The Confident Woman
The Cul-De-Sac Syndrome
The Debt-Free Diet
The DNA of Leadership
The Facts Of Business Life
The Gender Impact of Social Security Reform
The Gold Standard
The Human Factor
The Law of Forgiveness
The Lean Entrepreneur
The Intelligent Portfolio
The Investor's Paradox
The Journey: A Celebration
The Millionaire Master Plan
The Money Class
The Moneymakers
The New Color of Success
The New Tycoons
The One Hour Business Plan
The One Minute Closer
The Richest Man In Town
The Safe Investor
The Slight Edge
The Start Up Of You
The Super Stress Solution
The Third Wave
The Total Money Makeover
The Ultimate Plan
The Wallstrip Edge
The Women's Small Business Start-Up Kit
There's No Such Thing
Think Big
Thinking For A Change
Think Like A Champion
Top Dog
Top Ten Distinctions
Twitter Power
Upstarts
Wealth for Women
What Could Happen?
When Habits Aren't Enough
When Life Strikes
When Turtles Fly
Where Does The Money Go?
Where To Put Your Money
Who Owns The Data?
Who Owns The World?
Who Turned Out The Lights?
Why America Is Sick
Why Didn't They Teach Me
Why Do People Buy Things
Winning Nice
Womenomics
Working With You
Wrong
You, Inc.
Your Income Tax 2013

Links
More Recommended Books

Email Us

Books As Gifts
Book Contest Winners
Previous Book Contest

Quotes

If you would like your book to appear on our website, please send a review copy and an electronic excerpt from the book.

Send the review copy to:
MoneyMatters101.com
26880 Sugarite Canyon Drive
Rancho Belago, CA 92555

Send the Electronic Excerpt to: jroberts@moneymatters101.com



 

On My Own
The Art Of Being A Woman Alone
by Florence Falk

Self-Possession

In my work as a psychotherapist, I have seen a succession of women trying to reclaim the self. They come seeking relief from the pain of something that has gone awry in their lives, which could be anything from breaking up with a boyfriend to marriage wounds to a hypercritical boss to some undefined but persistent angst. But as soon as that pain has abated just a little, and they begin to listen to their inner feelings, they discover that they are far more severe on themselves than anything the outside world has to offer. That's when they begin to get in touch with the fears that have been holding the self in thralldom.

Yet, sooner or later, the self will appear. It has gone into hiding because it was too raw and vulnerable to survive otherwise, or, in writer Peggy Orenstein's words, because it has experienced "things too tender to tell." For to whom does a woman tell her painful truths when she feels unseen? To feel invisible is to believe that we are without worth, and nothing sends the self into hiding faster. Such loss of self often reveals itself in a woman's dreams. A woman whose energy is blocked might, for example, dream of herself as a large mammal -- a stallion brought to its knees; an ape trapped behind bars; a caged panther endlessly circling; a white porpoise lashed to a ship's mast, desperately trying to breathe out of its element. A woman suffering neglect might be more likely to conjure up images of smaller abandoned creatures -- a starving kitten or puppy or an infant alone in her carriage, forgotten. Or the identity of a self might be splayed, as in one patient's dream of a half-human, half-fishlike creature that slipped out of her mother's body. But as we begin to get in touch with these feelings and acknowledge the "tender things" we carry inside, little by little the self dares to show itself. The stallion gallops, the ape is uncaged, the panther sprints, the porpoise swims in its natural element; these creatures are, after all, descriptions of energy that is now free to help the self assume its true dimensions.

Self-Blessing

There is still a missing piece we need to set in place before we are ready to step out. This is the blessing that consecrates the self and sets it in motion, and which the poet Galway Kinnell has written about in "Saint Francis and the Sow" with deep, heartfelt wisdom: "The bud/stands for all things,/even for those things that don't flower,/for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing." The word blessing is one of the richest, most confluent in our language. From its English roots, blessing carries the meaning of consecration and holiness, but also of the mark of blood. From French, the verb blesser -- to wound -- bespeaks the blood wound that makes every blessing sacred and holy. A blessing, then, is an act of reverence that bestows protection, holiness, and love on the benefactor. But Kinnell is also saying that the deepest blessing is the one you bestow upon yourself.

Sometimes, as Kinnell also reminds us, our capacity for self-blessing must be awakened from without: for "sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness, put a hand on the brow of the flower and retell it in words and in touch it is lovely." The "hand on the brow" is the offering of one human being toward another. It may come from parental or companionate love, the compassionate caring of a minister toward her flock or of a therapist toward her patient, or the healing energy of certain family members, friends, or communities. What matters above all is that the touch of this hand be as full of affirmation as it is free of self-interest. Then it can help the woman to gather her own strength so that she does not have to lean on another.

Blessing is also an initiation. The path of a woman's journey reaches, after all, far beyond her passage from girlhood to womanhood, which means that we will need not one, but many, ritual markers to help us find our way from one life-crossing to the next. Each threshold, each divide between crossings, marks a real moment in time. It also has profound mythic and symbolic content. Both need to be recognized.

Think of all the markers in your own life when something happened to change you, when you realized in a simple but defined way that you were different than before. Think of the blessing you gave yourself -- or received from others. Or did not. And know that it is never too late.

 

Book of the Month

Book about investing

Advertise on MoneyMatters101.com

 

Share


Accessibility Policy| Terms Of Use| Privacy Policy| Advertise with Us| Contact Us

Use of this web site constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Use.

We are looking to create more mutually beneficial partnerships. If you are interested in partnering with MoneyMatters101.com, send us your proposal.

MoneyMatters101.com™

Link to MoneyMatters101.com