2/23/2018

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Nolo's Guide to SSI Disability
On America's Roads
On My Own
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Outliers
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Sell Your Home
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Small Business Survival Guide
Social Security: Inside Story
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Spent: Shopping Addict
Starting Over
Stop Sabotaging Your Career
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The Best Comes Last
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Think Big
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Stop Sabotaging Your Career

by Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D.

WANT more pay...perks...or a promotion? Stop being your own worst enemy - and get ahead instead!

If you've been passed over for a well-deserved promotion, overlooked even when your ideas are great, or denied the bonus you counted on-don't blame the system or your boss. Chances are you've been sabotaging your own career.

Now internationally recognized executive coach and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Lois P. Frankel shows you how the qualities you thought were your strengths may actually be hurting your career. Newly revised for today's tough competition and current marketplace conditions, STOP SABOTAGING YOUR CAREER offers the secret strategies and psychological tactics you can put in place today to achieve success tomorrow. Don't miss:

  • How to expertly assess the corporate playing field and spot the boundaries you should not cross

  • Why the Popeye philosophy-"I yam who I yam"-keeps you on the bottom rung of the ladder

  • Why expertise in your field just isn't enough-and what critical factors boost your credibility...and visibility

  • How an astonishing recent discovery about communication can get you noticed, admired, and respected

  • What fast-trackers know-and you can learn-that will advance your career faster.

SUCCESS STRATEGY 1

Build Strong 360-Degree Relationships

If you’re like so many clients who have told me, “I’m not here to win a popularity contest. I’m here to do my job,” this chapter has your name written all over it. Like it or not, you can’t be effective in the long run without strong 360-degree relationships. Even more important, when you need a relationship, it’s too late to build it. Consider the fates of two equally capable but temperamentally different world leaders: former US President Bill Clinton and former Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Both are intelligent men, politically driven, and charismatic in their own rights, but both encountered serious challenges at the height of their careers.

Despite his many transgressions, both before and during his term of office, Clinton reminded many people of the kid brother who was always getting into mischief but whom they loved anyway. Those who have met him consistently describe him in similar ways: “When he talks to you, he makes you feel like you’re the most important person in the room”; “He talks to you in a way that draws you in”; “He asks you questions about yourself—and actually remembers the answers.” I firmly believe the primary reason why Clinton wasn’t run out of office for behavior that some would describe as improper and others might call immoral (but most would agree was unbecoming the leader of the free world) was that he was a master at building relationships. He possessed a high likability quotient— something that I address in a later chapter.

To understand how such a bright guy could end up in such hot water, you have only to go back and study his childhood. Young William Jefferson Clinton grew up not knowing his biological father and watching his alcoholic stepfather abuse his younger brother, Roger, and his beloved mother, Virginia. He lived on the wrong side of the tracks, a chubby but intelligent kid. His survival depended on, in part, his ability to be charming and likable. But overdeveloped skill in these arenas became double-edged swords. The same charm that caused Americans to twice elect him president was also used to sexually exploit women. Just as he was elected through the power of his personality, his presidency was tarnished by the behaviors of a man acting much like an emotionally impoverished little boy. Of course, the factors contributing to Clinton’s or anyone else’s behavior are far more complex than this, but it does give you an idea of how early-childhood experiences contribute to career success—and potential self-sabotage.

Benjamin Netanyahu’s political fate was determined by just the opposite phenomenon: the failure to build relationships. Elected prime minister of Israel in 1996 by a victory margin of less than 1 percent, he served only one term before being ousted by an opposing political party. Despite the fact that his policies were met with overwhelming approval from the Israeli people, he was never able to build the kinds of relationships that would support him in the longer term. And in retrospect, he knew that this was a major factor in his downfall. In a January 1999 interview with Time magazine, when asked what he would do differently if he had a second term in office, he replied, “I wouldn’t do anything differently on the political side. Where I would do things differently is in the management of egos . . . the maintenance, shall we say, of, ah, personal relationships.” A look at his more recent forays back into Israeli politics suggest this is a lesson he has yet to master.

This simple truth is one that many people refuse to understand until it’s too late: The ability to do your job is contingent upon having relationships in place that will support your efforts, provide you with what you need when you need it, cut you slack when you make a mistake, and act in your best interests during good times and bad. Taking time to build relationships is the best investment of time and energy you can make in your career for the long haul. It may not seem like it when you have to stay late because you took the time to listen to someone who needed an ear or went out of your way to do someone a favor, but believe me, it will pay dividends when you least expect it.

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