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Third and Fourth Marriages

It is no longer a shock to hear of someone getting married for the third or fourth time. As a matter of fact, more and more people are divorcing and remarrying, not just once or twice, but over and over again, and the trend is not likely to end any time soon. Why? Because lifestyles are becoming more liberal with old standards of moral behavior changing with each new generation.

Even in more conservative circles, divorces are becoming just as commonplace as they are in liberal segments of our society, and many of those who espouse conservative values that call for greater sanctity in family and marriage are finding that they, themselves, are being caught up in the ever increasing cycle of marriage, divorce, remarriage, and divorce.

In years past, marriage was thought to be a lifelong commitment that included vows of love, happiness, intimacy, companionship, and security. When two people fell in love, the premise of marriage was, and still is, to share the rest of their lives together, living in harmony with one another and working through any problems in the marriage that might arise.

Actually, wedding vows are still expressed in the same context today, but with an added, unspoken, twist. Instead of the standard "I will" or "I do" when asked, " Do you take this person to be your husband, or wife, to live together after God’s ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, or her, comfort him or her, honor and keep him, or her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon him, or her, your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him, or her, as long as you both shall live?", the answer today could easily be "maybe I will, or maybe I won't."

Unfortunately, many people go into marriage with trepidations and uncertainty, marrying for the wrong reasons, and then jumping out as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

Many of the problems encountered in marriages center around the way we live, the way society has become so cynical and unforgiving, and the way life is unrealistically presented to us on television, in the movies we watch, in the music we listen to, by our own families, and the pressure put on us by our peers.

Why do some people get married over and over again? Do they feel obligated in some way to say "yes" every time they are asked? Do some people feel empowered when they marry and then walk away from the marriage as if it means absolutely nothing? Do people marry multiple times because they crave the attention? Most of all, do people listen to their own hearts and minds before going into the marriage.

Although divorce has become too easy an option, most couples do try very hard to keep their marriages intact. What this means is that wedding vows are still important, and they are committed to a loving, lifelong relationship, and they fight hard to keep their marriages together.

Today, when you hear of couples who have been married to each other for more than 25 years, it is cause for a slap on the back and comments like "wow, that's amazing," or "how did you do it?"

Marriage is not to be taken lightly. It is something that has to be worked on constantly, not by yourself, but as a team, working in conjunction with your spouse, but if your mate has other plans and is not willing to work with you by seeking marital counseling, you may not have a choice but to call it quits.

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