2/23/2018

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Meeting Your Inlaws

Many couples get married before they get a chance to meet their spouses family and it happens more often than you might think.

You may meet someone, fall in love, and then quickly marry before getting a chance to make the acquaintance of your new spouses' family and friends. And then there is the issue of distance. You may live far away from your new spouses family, in another state, or in another country, and you may not have had the opportunity to visit them prior to getting married.

With that being said, you will eventually have to make arrangements to meet your inlaws. This should be a happy occasion for both you and your spouse, but since you have never met them face to face before, you won't know what to expect.

When meeting your inlaws for the first time, more than likely, there will be some nervousness on both sides and someone, you, your spouse, or your inlaws will have to break the ice.

Before you meet your inlaws, ask your spouse to talk about them. Learn what they do for a living, what they like to do when they are not working, what their favorite foods are, etc. This will give you something to talk about while sitting at the dinner table.

Whether you are the husband or the wife, you should bring a small gift, maybe a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine or champagne. This will give the impression that you are sincere about taking a role in the family.

Dress nicely for the occasion. You don't have to impress anyone on how well you can dress, however, the way you look at the first meeting will be the way they will always remember you. First impressions are lasting impressions, so it may be a good idea to look pleasant and well groomed.

You should be confident in your manner, but don't act too sure of yourself. Some people like self confidence in a person while others look at it as cockiness and self righteousness. Smile and laugh where appropriate, but don't wear a fake smile the whole time you are there because they will know that the smile is fake and it will make them uncomfortable.

Your inlaws will want to know everything about you. Look them in the eye when you are talking to them. They may ask you sensitive questions so be ready to answer tough questions. Don't lie to them because lies have a way of coming back at a later date when you have forgotten what you said while it is still fresh in their memories.

Talk about yourself but don't brag about your accomplishments. Tell them about your family, your job, and what your plans are for the future. Tell them what you love about your spouse and why you asked your spouse to marry you.

It is alright for you to ask your inlaws questions, too, but don't get pushy and insulting. If politics or religion is brought up, listen to what is being said before you give your opinion. If you don't agree, listen politely and keep your opinions to yourself, at least until another time when you are better acquainted.

Don't argue with your spouse in front of your inlaws parents. It shows disrespect for them and it will give them a reason to question whether it was a good idea for their child to have married you in the first place.

Remember, this is the first meeting so be on your best behavior and you will come through this with a good feeling about your new spouse, your inlaws, and yourself. Before you leave, tell them how much you enjoyed their company and that you look forward to seeing them again.

 

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