2/23/2018

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10 Myths About Marriage

Myth #1: During early marriage, a spouse will try to mold the new mate into the image of their ex-spouse.

True and False: Study's indicate that some spouses, but not all, do try, unconsciously, to make their new spouse a carbon copy of their ex-spouse. They want the new spouse to dress in the same types of fashions, drive the same types of cars, go to the events, take the same vacations, mingle with the same friends, and in essence, become the same person as their ex-spouse.

Myth #2: In a marriage, love conquers all.

False: Love is a beautiful emotion that will make a spouse turn a blind eye to some things a mate might do, but even the greatest love isn't strong enough to make a spouse overlook cheating and certain other marital sins. Some people do things that they shouldn't do, knowing that they are wrong for doing them, and mistakenly use their spouse's love as a cushion when they get caught, but sooner or later, that cushion wears thin and the culprit ends up getting a dose of his own medicine.

Myth #3: There should always be harmony in a marriage.

False: No marriage is harmoniously perfect and they should not be expected to be. Even the most loving and caring of spouses go through periods of anger, resentment, insecurity, frustration and just about every other emotion that, at times, disrupt the harmony in the relationship. This is normal behavior in all marriages and without it, most marriages would be boring.

Myth #4: Husbands are more likely to cheat than wives.

False: Years ago, that may have been the case, but today, studies show that wives are just as likely to have affairs as their husbands. With women taking on greater roles outside of the homes in the workplace, and owning their own businesses, they are more and more in contact with other men, and this creates the opportunity to stray and have extramarital affairs.

Myth #5: When you get married, you lose your freedom.

True and False: Marriage is not a prison sentence, but as a part of the package, it does puts restrictions and limitations on certain activities that you may feel are important or enjoyable. When you say your wedding vows, you become one with another individual and marriage calls for making compromises in every aspect of your life. You lose freedom in certain areas but you make gain in others and in the long run, the gains are more important than the losses.

Myth #6: Most husbands don't like the fact that their wives make more money than they do.

True and False: Today, women are just as educated, and in many instances, more successful in the workplace than men and many women own and operate their own successful businesses. This makes them independent and able to support themselves and in many cases, their husbands. Some men are totally comfortable with their wife's higher income and see it as a way to a better life for both of them, while other men are so hung up on trying to be a man that they can't allow themselves the joy of having a wife who is smart and capable of earning more money than they do, which is unfortunate for them.

Myth #7: Husbands and wives should have separate bank accounts:

True and False: There are certain situations that may call for separate bank accounts, especially if there are large sums of income or property ownership that might cause unfavorable tax consequences. But unless there are extraneous circumstances, most married couples put their money is joint bank accounts, with one of the spouses handling the bills.

Myth #8: The spouse is always the last to know when their mate is cheating on them.

False: If a spouse pays attention to their mate, the spouse is usually the first to notice changes in behavior, attitude, and differences in behavior. A spouse may not say anything, or they may be in denial, but they know. Some spouses will keep the truth about their mates cheating habits to themselves until it becomes public knowledge, or until the other woman, or other man, decides to bring it out into the open, which at some point, they usually do.

Myth #9: The stepmom is always mean to her stepchildren.

False: The stepmom, in most cases, are caring, nurturing, and very nice to the stepchildren who come with the marriage. That is not to say that all step moms fully embrace their stepchildren. It is not always the stepmom's fault. Sometimes a new husband either fails to see, or disregards, the anxiety that his new wife feels about his children from a previous marriage. A stepmom may feel threatened when her husband has interactions, through his children, with his ex-wife and this may cause her to have resentment and emotional distance from the children. This is especially true if the step mom is young and not much older than the children.

Myth #10: Stepchildren do everything they can to disrupt the marriage of the parent and the new spouse.

False: Most stepchildren get along well with their stepparent. If there is a problem, it usually happens because the stepchild feels threatened by the presence of a new authority figure in their lives. They lash out in anger because their lifestyle has been disrupted, but in most cases, as time passes, the anger goes away and the child accepts and shows respect to the new stepparent. With some stepchildren, patience and understanding is critical.

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